Light

For the one of you out there that may have been concerned after last weeks post, I’m doing a followup.  I wanted to talk about the proverbial flip-side of the coin of darkness because there is a flip side.  After a re-read of the darkness post, it could have sounded like I live in a world of perpetual rain and coal dust with the voice on my left shoulder represented by a wet goth kid and the voice on my right played by a dude from an eighties metal video wearing a straight jacket and Hannibal Lecter mask.  Not so.

The light side is there in force and I find it there far more often than I used to.  Just like with the darkness, the light is easily triggered by music.  I am, unabashedly, in love with pop music these days. The dripping wet goth kid on my left is horrified to see me write that. Luckily, his bangs are covering his eyes at the moment.   Say Hey and  Hey Ya!, though not very descriptive song titles, get me moving in that roll-down-the-window-and-catch-the-warm-breeze-on-hand way.  Sexy Back makes me wish I lived in a universe where the flopping of bread dough was an attractive form of dancing.

The goth kid took his headphones off for long enough to remind me that the dark/light coin that I’m talking about is a depression/mania cycle and still counts and mental illness even though I might be happy. I remind him that there are many, many people out there that suffer from a clinically diagnosed bipolar disorder, but I’m not one of them.  My highs are not high enough or long enough and are fairly easily controlled.  The same goes for the lows.  I do see the fuzzy edge of what bipolar may be like, but, thankfully, I’m caught in its grip.  The goth kid starts to argue so I play You Make My Dreams Come True and he turns his back to me.

I know that I’m just (finally) experiencing life. Really experiencing it. I’m able to acknowledge the darkness and the light for what they are. Accept them and all they have to offer. I don’t try and deny the goth’s existence just like I don’t deny that I like Justin Timberlake.  Self-awareness can be terrible and sad moments before it’s magical and uplifting-like switching playlists on Spotify.

Thanks to the surfing I did to find the video links to include today, I’m riding high at the moment.  Justin Timberlake is on my left shoulder and mulleted Daryl Hall on my right.  I hope you have a wonderful day. 

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